32. Cleveland Browns
Last week: 32
The Browns were seemingly moving up the power rankings, going up 20-0 on the Ravens in the first quarter. Brown’s fans were ecstatic and already speculating on how many points they would finish with. They were on track for 80, but in typical Browns fashion, finished with 20. The Browns have had 5 different QB’s in their last 5 games, at some point you just have to stick with one and ride him through the ups and downs.
31. Chicago Bears
Last week: 29
Jay Cutler left the game with an injury last night and half of Chicago rejoiced. It seems that every year the Bears have the same problem. They have an “elite” QB who underperforms. On the bright side if Cutler can’t keep his level of performance up, the Mets have an opening.
30. Jacksonville Jaguars
Last week: 16
The Jags must have a varsity team and a JV team that they are hiding from the rest of the league. The team that took the field against the Packers didn’t resemble the team that took the field against the Chargers at all. Rivers threw for 4 touchdowns while only 7 passes hit the ground the whole game. With numbers like that you aren’t going to win many games
29. New Orleans Saints
Last week: 27
It seems like so long ago the Saints were Super Bowl champions and gave a hurting city a new lease on life. This team has had a couple late game collapses this year, but it just takes one to get on the right track.
28. Indianapolis Colts
Last week: 25
Andrew Luck has the protection equivalent of a cardboard box in a hurricane. Luck has taken more hits in the last 3 years than any other QB in the league. The Colts stayed in it against the defending champs, but a late turnover put the final nail in Indy’s coffin.
27. Buffalo Bills
Last week: 23
The Bills have had a rough season (read: decade). Tyrod has had his hands full in this offensive scheme, but things are supposedly getting better in northern New York. Hopefully this longer week can provide some much needed help for this struggling Bills team.
26. Washington Redskins
Last week: 21
Kirk Cousins isn’t liking this season much and Josh Norman hasn’t had his usual trash talking moments this year. Getting rid of RG3 was supposed to turn over a new leaf in the Washington offense, but so we have yet to see anything good come out of our nation’s capital
25. Miami Dolphins
Last week: 19
Arian Foster is injured again (shocking), what is more shocking is the fact that the Miami Dolphins looked more lost this game against Jimmy Garoppolo than they did against Tom Brady last year. Miami may be in the Sunshine State, but there are some dark clouds hovering in the horizon.
24. Los Angeles Rams
Last week: 31
The game itself might not have been a beauty, but the defensive performance put on by the Rams gave them a whole new perspective on this season. Given it was against a hobbled QB that makes his living on the run, but the Rams still held Seattle to no touchdowns in a stadium where Pete Carroll made his living.
23. San Francisco 49ers
Last week: 24
The 49ers held on to their dignity against a Carolina team that normally shuts down opponents at home by coming putting up a late 4th quarter fight, but ultimately failing. The 49ers travel to another team that likes to take the dignity of their opponents, but need help finding their own first.
22. Tennessee Titans
Last week: 26
The Titans did what the Colts couldn’t do the week before and held onto a win against Stafford and the Lions. Andre Johnson was the hero who brought in the game-winning touchdown, yes he still does plays, and he is just like your ex who moved on to a smarter, younger partner.
21. San Diego Chargers
Last week: 30
The Chargers blew out the Jags this week when they kept the ball on the ground. They suffered a major loss in Danny Woodhead, but can continue to lean on Melvin Gordon this year.
20. Atlanta Falcons
Last week: 28
The Falcons got a little lucky this week against a defense that is about as useful as a coffee filter in the Hover Dam. The Falcons squeaked by the Raiders this week by a touchdown, but still put up over 500 yards on them.
19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Last week: 13
If you played Jameis in fantasy this week expecting him to rack up the points against another bird team you probably had a rough week. Jameis followed up his stellar performance against Atlanta with an equally as shocking game against the Cardinals.
18. Detroit Lions
Last week: 18
The Detroit Lions need to figure something out and quickly because the penalties yards add up and you can’t expect to win games starting your 1st and goal from the 26.
17. Oakland Raiders
Last week: 11
Bringing in ex-Seahawk pass rusher Bruce Irvin to compliment the beast that is Khalil Mack. The Raiders have allowed over 1000 yards on defense in 2 WEEKS. Something needs to change on that side of the ball or else Derek Carr might have to start putting up 400+ yards through the air to keep the games close.
16. Dallas Cowboys
Last week: 20
Dak made good on his promise to get Dez more involved in the offense this week. Dez recording only his 2nd 100-yard game since 2014. The defense is really where the problems lie in this Dallas team. The lack of pass rush really kills the vibe once Dak and Dez leave the field.
15. Baltimore Ravens
Last week: 17
The Ravens started this game out a little slow, going down 20-0 against the Browns in the first quarter, but then Cleveland did Cleveland things and Harbaugh did Harbaugh things and all was right with the NFL. The Ravens start out the year 2-0, but don’t count on many more 20-point comebacks.
14. Philadelphia Eagles
Last week: 22
Carson Wentz might be the real deal. It’s kinda fun imagining the Brown’s front office spinning in their chairs thinking about what might have been. Wentz has yet to turn the ball over and the defense has only allowed 17 total points this year. If the rookie can keep his stats up and the defense stays brick, this team might have a change. Good Riddance Chip.
13. New York Giants
Last week: 15
The Giants/Saints matchup was supposed to provide us with more scores than the Gettysburg Address. Unfortunately neither team could put up points this week, after the last matchup went for more than 12 touchdowns. The Giants start the year off 2-0, but they are going to have to start putting up more points if they want to keep the streak
12. Kansas City Chiefs
Last week: 8
The Chiefs have had a rough go this year, they haven’t been able to get the pass game going yet, but hopefully the return of their star RB can help turn this season around.
11. Seattle Seahawks
Last week: 6
What happened in Pete Carroll’s first trip back to the Coliseum? This team looked more out of place than a steak at Ivars. This team will have to bounce back in Week 3 when they face a 49er team that have scored more points in a week 2 loss than the Seahawks have all year.
10. New York Jets
Last week: 14
Matt Forte looking like it was 5 years ago and he was still in the Windy City. Forte found the endzone 3 times in his Week 2 matchup against state rivals, Buffalo Bills. Brandon Marshall had a short injury scare, but Quincy Enunwa made his presence felt regardless.
9. Cincinnati Bengals
Last week: 9
AJ Green was still a little sore from his stint on Revis Island last week because he couldn’t seem to carry the team 2 weeks in a row. The Bengals converted just 25% of their 3rd down opportunities, going 4/16. If you want to succeed in this league, that just wont cut it.
8. Green Bay Packers
Last week: 3
The Packers looked a little shaky this week, losing to their division rivals and hated enemy Minnesota Vikings. Rodgers wasn’t looking like himself for most of the game, and if this team wants a happy ending this season, that is not a pretty sight.
7. Minnesota Vikings
Last week: 12
In just 3 weeks, the Vikings have managed to lose their starting QB and RB, but somehow have managed to notch 2 wins. Cris Collinsworth was so impressed with Sam Bradford it almost seemed like he was going to call it a season right there.
6. Houston Texans
Last week: 10
The Texans are on top of the AFC South for the first time in a very long time. Will Fuller has shown that he is a PPR force. The Texans lead this dumpster fire of a division with 2x as many wins as the rest of the division.
5. Arizona Cardinals
Last week: 7
When you can rest your QB after the first half it is going to be a good week. The Card’s defense forced 5 turnovers against a Bucs team that steamrolled the Falcons the week before.
4. Carolina Panthers
Last week: 5
The Panthers lost a big piece in RB Jonathan Stewart, but that didn’t stop them from running up the score and yardage like it was nothing against a 49er team that held the Rams to 0 points the week before.
3. Denver Broncos
Last week: 2
The defense really showed up this week (again), forcing Andrew Luck into some ill advised throws. Siemian provided another strong outing going 22 of 33 with 266 and a pick.
2. New England Patriots
Last week: 1
The Pats got the W, but the game didn’t come without it’s negatives, as they lost Jimmy and will have to lean on their 3rd string or go and pick someone off the street.
1. Pittsburgh Steelers
Last week: 4
Antonio Brown didn’t show up this week, but the Steelers managed to get the W on the back of D’Angelo and arm of Big Ben.